One person who would not only not see God's purpose, but seldom saw any purpose other than his own ---is Scottie. Sweeney and Murray's dad is a hard man. And most of their life, they found it preferable not to tell him the truth. If the truth did not align with his expectations, they had much reason to fear telling the truth.

Sweeney thinks back. His dad had never owned up to anything. He came closer to the concept of looking at children as ownership, rather than as children of God. But still, Sweeney feels he has to try. He has to try talking to his dad.


Scottie provides more of the same of which he'd filled their childhood with, "It doesn't surprise me.   Always making life difficult for your dad.  But that wasn't good enough for you, was it?  You had to mess with other people's lives too, didn't you?"

 Scottie's frame of mind had not changed.  He is well into his regular routine, "Why are you telling me all this anyway? I always said, if you're going to tell a lie, don't ever admit to it. Let me talk to Murray ---you disappoint me too much."                                                                                    

Sweeney hands the phone to Murray, then walks off to be by himself. He had hoped dad would not affect him this way.   But it doesn't matter how long it's been ---that gripping disappointment, expressed from dad    to son, continues to rob him of the blessing he could now potentially realize.

               *******                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Sweeney needs to be alone to reflect on this one.  It seems just like yesterday.   He and Murray sit by the window, looking out.  They're always looking out.  No one seems to look out for them.  They are grounded again. They are grounded a lot, he recalls.

Dad is angry.  Mom is angry.  Don't know who was angry first.  Does it really matter?   We become a part of dad and mom whether we like it or not.   What will children gain from their parents?  The positive, or the negative?   Or the confusion?

A therapist blames upbringing …an uncomfortable insinuation for parents, or parents of parents.  Parents blame children, an unbearable insinuation for children.  Children don't have the right to blame anyone, unless they blame themselves.  They're just the unwilling victims of it all. Many supposed well-meaning organizations blame society, though the organizations emerge out of society itself.  And government molds itself around the society, so that it can exist without too much inner turmoil,   not confronting that which it is not committed enough to attempt to change.   It becomes the mutual benefit of the conglomeration of all our misdirection.                                                                              

'Society' is defined as the voluntary association of individuals for common ends. Often that 'common end' is to blame.  Whether it is the small family unit, or the larger government of nations, blame can be the focus …rather than seeking solutions.

If children are not to follow the ways of society, then what direction is provided for them?  Children usually create only very limited understanding of their existence.  Their lives include family ---which they don't choose, and friends that they do choose.  If the families choose to blame, then the children choose to escape.   

One of the most common modes of escape, is television.  The other is friends.  And the friends that they choose are often friends from similar families who have their own unique private sessions of blame.  They share a common ground of inflicted blame.  Together they often find comfort in viewing the other dysfunctional families portrayed on television.  And together, their own negative experiences and those of television, help socialize them.  

Once their own personal inner pain is added, they are thrust into the angry path …to find their own way.

 
So society is made up of families we don't choose, and friends we  feel we do choose, but not really.   

Friends become avenues of survival.   And it provides an avenue for when we grow up and ---we can blame society too.

Somewhere along that misguided path, Mom had felt the need to see a therapist.  Much time is spent talking about her childhood.  It's safe because they aren't here …Mom's own parents aren't here.  But her children are here.  They are in the next room.

It is too risky to talk about the husband-wife relationship.  Each can't blame the other because it might make matters worse.  So the childhood has to remain the focus.  And the anger factor has to be dealt with.

Murray and I have no choice.  We have to go to the sessions with mom.  But we have to occupy ourselves in the next room.  Murray sees there's a large selection of games to play with. But I'm more concerned with the games that are being played next door.

I pick up a book and sit next to the wall.  I find that I can hear most of what the therapist and Mom are saying.  I recall one particular session.  It is particularly bothersome:

                                                         
Mom: "I hit the dog with the broom.  It really upset Sweeney.  He really loves that dog."

Therapist: "What do you think you can do to prevent yourself from hitting the dog with the broom?"

                     
Mom: "I don't know."

Therapist: "Well, I can make a suggestion."

         
Mom: "What's that?"

Therapist: "Make sure that when you get angry, don't pick anything up."

                     
Mom: "That won't work.  I kick the dog too."

Therapist: "Why do you think you take your anger out on the dog?"

         
Mom: "Probably because it's Scottie's dog."

Therapist: "Oh, a case of transference."

                     
Mom: "But Sweeney is the one that really loves the dog."

Therapist: "That's good insight.  We're making good progress here."

         
Mom: "Not really. That's why I came to you. Insight has not helped me improve my anger. When Sweeney was just a baby, the dog was just a pup. I couldn't stand the dog right from the start.  I tried to just ignore the dog, but I'm expected to do everything around the house.  I tried to leave the dog alone, but I had to take it to the vet. It was suffering from malnutrition. I realized that if I didn't take care of that dog, no one would. My husband wasn't taking care of it. It was his dog, but I have to take care of everything in the house."

 Therapist: "I hear you making reference to your house, not your 'home'.  You don't really consider it a home, do you?"

         
    Mom: "No, I feel it's an area I'm assigned to.  I have to take care of everything and keep everything clean.  And all that dog hair makes me angry.  I tried to not let it bother me.  For three months I tried to stop caring about those things.  For three months I didn't clean or vacuum."

Therapist: "And how did you feel during those three months?"

         
Mom: "The dog didn't bother me during that time."  

Therapist: "So, you did arrive at a solution then. That tells me something."

                     
Mom: "Yes, it told me something too.  The dog didn't bother me because the house was so dirty, I couldn't find the dog.  I couldn't find the children either."

  So much for listening in on mom's therapy session.  I look at the book I'm holding in my hand.  It's by Dr. Seuss.  More than any Doctor, or therapist could ever do, I have often turned to Dr. Seuss.  I enjoy all his books.  Dr. Seuss is certain to understand my plight.

Two children, way too young to be home alone, sit by a window.   A window Dr. Seuss is about to open for us.  Where is their mother?  I see the similarity, yet at the same time, the difference.  My mom is always there, at least in body.

These two books are my favorites.  Even now, as an adult, I can recall the story.  Yet, it may have a different slant to how I look at it  today.  It all begins with an intrusion.  The two children stand in silent amazement.  Only their fish speaks.   Rather fishy, right?  Not really.       

The fish is their conscience, telling them all the things their mom wouldn't approve of.  But as the children continue to look on in amazement, the 'Cat in the Hat' somehow boldly states that the tricks he will show them ---their mom will not mind at all if he does them.

Then when the 'Cat' introduces 'Thing One' and 'Thing Two', the children shake hands.  An agreement of sorts is made, with a certain degree of peace established about the whole thing.

Once again the 'conscience fish' says the 'Things' should not be there when their mother is not.  But the children look on with simple amazement at the wrong things they are experiencing, until they see their mother returning home.  Only then do they make a real effort to stop that irresponsible 'Cat'.

But still looking for an out from the mess, they allow the 'Cat' to take care of it.  And they show joy at seeing that the problem is taken away.  Then they return to the window to sit silently, as if nothing had happened.

All this encourages the 'Cat in the Hat' to come back, when their mother is away for the day, of course.  And before they can speak for themselves, he invites himself in.                                                                               

This time they say the things that the 'fish conscience' would have said, but the Cat's answer is that they should try it sometime.  The children take a stance and say 'No!', but each time a problem arises, they look to the 'Cat' to fix it.

    Each time they holler at what the 'Cat' does wrong.  Each time they witness the 'Cat' making things worse.  But each time they allow him to fix his own mess he continues to make.    

The children say it's bad, but the 'Cat' insists they should try it.  Each time they are told that it isn't so bad.  The first mention of dad follows.  The reference is to how unsatisfied he'd be.  And to avoid disappointing dad, they ask if the problem can be solved ---you know it can!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

            
Undermining, underhanded, under way under his hat, the 'ABC Cats' take the lead.   And things get worse!

But the 'Cat in the Hat' can fix it ---with 'Cat Z'.   He has something called 'Voom', that cleans up, fixes everything.  We had let a little pink in. Then all we could see is pink.  

Soon we can not tell the difference between pink and red.  We don't want to see red.  We'd be just like the ones who brought this all on in the first place.

The 'Cat' is like society.  Maybe I can blame the 'Cat in the Hat'.  But not really.  I can see it more clearly now.  Our spiritual life is like that.   Without anyone to help keep us accountable, it can be like the 'Cat in the Hat' story.  It would be better that we never let the 'Cat' in the house in the first place.   And the more you let the 'Cat' fix the very problems he creates, the worse it gets.

The 'Voom' took care of the mess, but you know what else it did?  It all but guaranteed that the 'Cat' will be back.   Do you know why? Because the 'Cat' was allowed to take care of the problem he had created.

Now, don't get me wrong.   If someone causes a problem, it's often good to allow that someone to fix the problem they've caused.  But not if they 'are' the problem.  And the 'Cat' was the problem.  He did things we know shouldn't be done.  And he encouraged us to keep it from our parents.

                                                                                                 
    Sweeney had thought he'd grown beyond these old feelings, but they are still able to drag him down, out of the best of moods.   He refocuses.   It is not this old hurt that he needs.  He needs the new realization to lift him out of the doldrums.  He will receive his blessing ---not from his dad, but from his Heavenly Father.



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